Last night, I was able to hear SINNER on the radio for the first time, two days before its release. It was actually the first time ever (that I'm aware of) that YAN YEZ has gotten radio play. I have perspective: it was a local show, playing local music. A bar exists there, but it's not a particularly high one to leap over - and my vertical jump has never been one of note. Yet it still mattered a hell of a lot to me.
Because it took me years to get to a place where I could confidently see myself as the lead voice of a project. And then it took a few more years after that to be comfortable in, and write from, an authentic place.
SINNER addresses a lot of my personal shit; the fact that it took me almost 30-years to openly identify as part of the LGBTQ crowd, my religious roots, my persistent faith, watching a Christian Nationalist movement grow around me, and more.
It's a deeply personal song; but not a soft and sweet one. It's loud. It's aggressive. And to my credit or detriment (I haven't exactly had a lot of success marketing it), I like to think it's a genuinely unique piece of music. One of a kind. And that's because it came from me. And only I am me (I know, shocking!)
Only I could have written this song.
This'll certainly be a little more lactose-heavy than my usual posts, but I'll embrace the cheese here - I'm more comfortable in my own skin right now than anytime before. It took a long time and a lot of hardship to get here and Im still working some things out. I'm never a finished product. But SINNER is a testament to the progress I've made thus far.
I hope you listen to it tomorrow - or tonight at midnight 😘. But more than that, I hope you take care of yourself. I hope you love yourself. I hope you find yourself comfortable looking in the mirror. And I hope once you're there, you find yourself loving the family, friends, and community around you, better. Even the ones who don't treat you the same way.
SINNER pulls few punches; it's an exercise in healthily venting my frustrations and perspective.
But it doesn't change the fact that I believe in a God that is Love. And I believe we and They are intrinsically intertwined; all of us.
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